How to support yourself and ask for help, through challenging times.

A few weeks ago I woke up and felt really sad. As I started crying I wondered what triggered it.

Even though I worked out the trigger. I found it fascinating that as the tears flowed the stories grew.

I didn’t feel loved or cared about.

I felt I didn’t have anyone to talk to.

I felt alone.

In that moment I really missed my mum, who I could always talk too. She would have understood.

Instantly the phone rang and messages came through.

I felt their love and appreciated it soooo much.

I wrote this post on 27th March 2023

Reflecting on this experience, I asked myself,” Are these stories true?” No, they weren’t. I have lots of wonderful family and friends who care about me.

What keeps me feeling alone and separate is the lack of courage to ask for help. They can’t read my mind, I would have to ask them.

This may seem logical, but my body constricts at the thought of reaching out and requesting help.

I realised I am super doper resistant to asking for help. I tell myself its because, I don’t want to bother people everyone is busy with their own lives and sometimes their own challenges.

If I dig a little deeper and own it, its more likely to be a fear of rejection, this is a very real fear most of us carry within our DNA. Just think back hundreds of years ago, its didn’t end well if you are rejected and outcast from your “TRIBE”.

I was so glad that even within the sadness, heaviness and the voice of the inner critic, I still had the courage to ask for the support I needed. I didn’t have to do it on my own.

No matter how wonderful we are at caring for others, being independent, capable and self- aware, sometimes we need to ask for love, care and support from others and openly receive it.

During this whole experience I practised feeling through my emotions  

I was surprised that the intense sadness and crying passed relatively quickly that morning. I still felt fragile and tender afterwards, however I practised doing the things that nurturer me and that I loved. I went to yoga, booked a hot stone massage and cleared my day and just rested and slept.

It was a bonus that I received the love and care from my family, because I actually let them know. Too funny.

You see you are not alone, we all have times of sadness.

We all express or suppress a range of emotions, throughout our lives and they range from:

Lighter feelings like – gratitude, joy, peace and love.

Heavier feelings like – sadness, grief, depression, hopelessness.

Then everything in between – boredom, anger, excitement, frustration.

The 4 Steps to support yourself and ask for help.

1. Become aware and feel through your emotions in a safe environment.
2. Observe your thoughts as neutrally as you can. With curiosity, compassion and acceptance.
3. Asked for what you need from your loved ones and give that to yourself – love, care and support.
4. I supported myself by doing the things that nurtured me.

If you want extra support and are keen to get some clarity on your next step? The best place for us to start is by having a conversation.
Let’s have a quick chat.
Book a free 15-minute call today, so we can talk about your life and your health and how can I help?

If this has raised any concerns about your mental health or the sadness is intense and lasts for more than a few days, please seek professional health care as soon as possible.

If you are in crisis or feel unsafe contact Lifeline on 13 11 14 or Beyond Blue https://www.beyondblue.org.au/